windblade59

I always wonder what it would feel like to draw something and be really proud of it. I can't draw worth anything lol. I use to be in a mechanical drawing class which I enjoyed so much because I got to draw but I was using straight edges and all other type of tools that made it easier to draw. For the first time I was able to draw something by free hand. I know its not the best drawing in the world but I manage to draw something which made me so proud. I just though I would write that down.

Thats all

That's my phone. For some those are words of joy and others words of discontent. I guess it differs from person to person. For me its a bit of both and something else. That's my phone, my digital leash. Anytime anyone has the desire to check up on me they can freely do so with the simple dialing of my 10 numbers. Even if we don't answer the phone or text message or voice-mail, the idea that someone was looking for you will linger around in your head until you can't take it no more and you give in by either calling then back to figure out what they wanted. Your phone is that one thing that keeps you connected to everything else in your life at times. The one thing that keeps your digital soul alive when your computer isn't around. It's can be your saving grace in your time off need or it can be the one thing that times you back to a person that you rather not speak to again. The newer your phone is the more features it has for people to keep an eye on you.

I think I better stop cause I just sound like a person who fears that big brother or someone is watching him to closely.

I pick up the phone and I talk to a familiar voice. As I finish rambling about how my day was, I hear nothing but silence so I begin to talk about something that is completely irrelavent but never the less its something to talk about. All that I wanted was an opinion from this person nothing else. I guess opinions are hard to get these days. People communicate everyday and everyday they exchange different things be it humble words to irrate rants but they share something. I just want someone that I can sit with and share opinions with and they can share their back with me. It can be about anything like the news to something simple as the weather. In the end I guess I am just looking for someone to strike a conversation with me about something that will interest me and it seems to be to hard at times.

I search for the things that I can't have and complain about the things that I do have. Isn't this just great.

so life sucks, depression hits and life as we know it seems to change while we are just getting accustom to the new changes that happen last week yet things will be okay. no matter who bad my day gets i keep getting told eventually things will even out and life will be back to a normal flow. after a while of being told this by so many people, i guess you start to believe it too which makes it that much more important for change to happen so when you think about it do we just need a believe to help us through the horrible things that we go through day in and day out or do we need a hand to pull us out of the dull moments that life seems to shuttle our way? grr i lost my train of though darn you neil cabuto from fox news anyhow do we just need an idea when we are done to bring up the point that we need to be at or what. an idea won't feed you or give you shelter but it will provide you with something much more powerful that can't be bought or can't be taken away. it provides you with a belief, a belief that will carry you through thick and thin through the good and the bad and the worse and the best. a belief is all i need right or does that sound like religion to me. oh man i lost my way yet again.

Ever notice that they are a million different ways of saying the same thing yet people are so narrow minded that they only reach to maybe a dozen ways out of those million ways. Of course my numbers are only an estimation but you get the idea. I wonder why is that people aren't able to expand their minds and acknoledge the simple idea that someone is saying what they want to hear just in a different way. So I write a simple e-mail to my currently girlfriend and I end the e-mail with the word love nothing else. Of course I get an e-mail back saying what you don't love me anymore because you never write I love you. In my mind I am thinking I been in a relationship with you for a long enough time that you should know that I love you and no matter how I say it, it shouldn't dissort the idea that I do love you. I forsee an arguement in my near future, yet again.